Bridal Shower Stress

For those of you reading this, either knowing my family or being a part of my family, I apologize in advance; but I need to get this off my chest.



Honestly, planning a bridal shower should NOT be stressful. In fact, it should be relatively easy, especially when a date has been set. When I threw my sister's bridal shower, we had a date, we had a place, and we had a time (about). Done. I bought some food and some decorations and Jenny and I set the thing up at my aunt's house one the day of. Done.

My original shower date was tentative, but it would be somewhere between November 6-8th. The reasoning behind that date was due to the fact that I would already be in town for a week filled with a birth, a birthday, and a baptism. Since I live in Portland and the shower would be in California, it would be ideal to have the shower while I was already planning on being in town. I want to have one bridal shower in California and one in Oregon. Done.

Granted, the timing of my original date wasn't the best, given the fact that my Matron of Honor (Jenny) is pregnant and due around the time I was planning my shower (Nov. 4th), but when the possibility of a cesarean surfaced, we all took a step back to ponder the situation. Some of us did more pondering than others, I think...

My mom, for example, decided that Jenny should not be on her feet, helping at the shower, no matter how she felt physically if we had my shower in November as planned. Even if Jen had the procedure done two weeks prior, my mom still did not feel comfortable asking Jenny to attend, let alone help out. She also did not want to burden Jenny with the task of driving wherever we may be with a newborn and possibly in pain, only to sit on an unfamiliar couch and have to breastfeed with strange people around. She also decided it was bad for the baby to be around all those people after just being born for such a long time. Basically, no matter what, Jenny should not be involved if we had a shower in November due to the newborn baby and possible cesarean.

My mom also thought in order to help with the amount of people around the newborn, I could have two showers; a family shower and a friend shower. That way, Jenny's baby is only around me, Jen, Shyleen, Megh, and Malia... My mom felt as though that would be best anyway since we've known each other for so long and for them to sit with my family (people they "don't know") would be uncomfortable for them.

When two of my bridesmaids were concerned that Jenny wouldn't be able to come and didn't want to exclude her, I decided it was best to proceed with caution and have the shower earlier as opposed to later (like, in December). They were also concerned with how busy my week in November was going to be, between helping Jen with the new baby and helping Shyleen with Colby's birthday/baptism extravaganza.

I was planning on being in town for our 10 year High School reunion on October 9th. My bought my plane tickets the other day; I fly in on October 8th and leave on October 12th. That gives me a weekend to do wedding related things... possibly the shower.

I consulted my bridesmaids and they all seemed okay with that idea, especially Saturday, October 10th. The two bridesmaids that stepped up to the plate to help out with planning/implementation were happy to hear of the date change. I talked it over with Jenny and she seemed happy (relieved, almost) that she would still be pregnant and able to help, if needed. I talked to my mom and she also liked that date. I told her I wanted an all-in-one bridal shower, family and friends, and she seemed okay with that as well, especially since there wouldn't be more than 20 people total (including children if they came). She was still a bit hesitant, but I told her that's how I wanted it; one big, happy bridal shower.

The last phone call ended sometime after 10pm last night... after a day full of phone calls and text messages regarding this whole ordeal.

Tonight, at 10pm, I get a phone call from my mom, informing me that my aunt has a "concert date" for the evening of October 10th. Basically, my mom was telling me that my aunt was not available on that date and that I needed to "reschedule;" either plan a family shower in November and keep the friend shower in October, or reschedule the all-in-one to another day. My initial thought: Too damn bad; this day works for everyone else and I'm not going to reschedule for one person, no matter how related we are.

My secondary thought: This is the same aunt, who, at my birthday dinner in June, left the restaurant while I was in the bathroom, without a word. When I came out of the bathroom, I asked where she was and my mom said she had gone home... and I didn't get the chance to thank her for my gift or give her a hug goodbye, since I hadn't seen her in a while. I love my aunt, don't get me wrong, but to leave a birthday dinner without telling the birthday girl goodbye... I think that's a little messed up. And now she can't come to my bridal shower because the concert is more important? But I digress.

My mom then proceeded to tell me that her former principal was planning her retirement party sometime in October and she was worried that it was on the 10th as well. She told me that both her and my aunt would be invited and therefore unable to attend my bridal shower, even if it was in the afternoon since the retirement party would most likely be in the afternoon as well. My mom then said it was probably best for me to plan a family party in November so that she and my aunt could be there with the other family members, since they may be uncomfortable around my friends without my mom and aunt there.

I told my mom that the idea of having a bridal shower was stressing me out and that this should NOT stress me out as much as it was at that moment. And I hung up. I couldn't take it anymore. Less than 24 hours after a date was settled, it was unsettled...


WHAT THE F*CK, PEOPLE?!!
This is FAMILY. Where are your priorities?
Not only that, but I am your DAUGHTER.
That, in my opinion, is FAR more important than your former principal. (Granted, this former principal is a *wonderful* woman, but I know she would understand... it's family.)


Don't worry; I will be calling my mom back tomorrow and letting her know that there will be ONE and only ONE bridal shower and that priorities need to be set. If I'm not a priority, fine; I can live with that, but I need to know where I stand.

My bridal shower WILL BE on October 10th in the afternoon. For those of you living in California who might be interested, let one of my California bridesmaids (Jenny, Malia, Megh, and Shyleen) know and they will hook you up with an invitation. For those of you in Portland who would like to attend my eventual bridal shower (date TBA), let my Portland bridesmaid (Felicia) know and she fill you in as soon as we decide on at date/time/etc.

Dinner!

The second Saturday of every month = Dinner at my place!

Which, by the way, I LOVE, because I get to cook yummy food and lots of it... enough to feed all of my hungry friends! Tonight, I made meatloaf, a turkey-loaf, garlic mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and garlic bread! For dessert, I made cupcakes... Confetti with Whipped Cream frosting, Yellow with Lemon frosting, and Chocolate with Chocolate frosting. And then...



I was so proud of my cupcake tower of tastiness. It looked great... until Yav ate one right from the front of the tower! haha!


If you're in Portland on the second Saturday of the month and you don't have any plans, you should swing by my house and see what's for dinner! I'd be glad to have you over!
... and if you enjoy a little RPG action, it seems as though Sam has added on a fascinating game of D&D after dinner. Fun for everyone! (Well, kinda...)



** October's dinner shall be postponed until Halloween... since I will be out of town for my 10 year high school reunion... hehe **

Cake Topper Madness!

Alright everyone... The moment you've all been waiting for!
(Well, not really, but...)

We've narrowed it down to three options, in no particular order:

1. The Kiss


2. Infinite Love


3. Dancing Couple


Not that we're going to necessarily listen to your opinions when we make our final decision, I'm just curious as to which one you like!